Ben Killoy

Ben Killoy

Owning Your Own Shit!

person standing near lake

If you find your past is something that holds you back and you feel like its dead weight that is holding you back, but you enjoy it to much avoiding it.  This blog post is not for you. 

Recently in a group that I am part of we went through an exercise of owning our own shit.

What does this mean?

It means to take your past, your darkest secrets and take a phrase from the Disney movie Frozen, LET IT GO! 

Some thing extremely powerful happens when you take something that is surrounded in shame, maybe regret, or maybe just plain old sadness.  Or maybe your shit is dressed up with some angry that it bursts out in random spots during the day. 

I often compared to how I dealt with my past to stacking my past or my issues in general on a shelf.  I would spend all my energy some days just to reinforce the shelf as to not collapse.  What I would always learn and others would around me is that, the shelf would break and the verbial shit would hit the fan.

Everyone around me would feel the pain of decades worth of shit spilling all over the floor.  Then what would always follow is trying to pick up the pieces and rebuild the shelf.  My mind would tell me that, just rebuild it better this time, this is so much easier than just dealing with it. 

If it only breaks a few times a year, that is still better than unpacking a lifetime of regrets, poor choices, or just plain old asshole. 

How does this relate to owning your shit?

As veterans, lets face it, we faced some bad shit together.  Some of us had to return without a brother that we left behind in a war we didn’t always understand.  Or maybe it’s physical shit and your missing an arm or a leg. 

Or maybe it is relationships in our life that we would end up hurting the people closest to us like a failed marriage. 

The bottom line is that all of it no matter what kind of shit, it typically has some power over us and control that affects the life we try and build for ourselves in the future. 

Why Let It Go?  Well this maybe a best selling Disney movie, but it has such a strong message that is hidden beneath the surface for adults. 

Living a life of fear only leads to a life so lonely and cold, we create this illusions that we are protecting the ones closest to us.  In the end we actually end up pushing them away and hurting them more. 

Freedom from the past only comes from releasing the story, the pain, the shit into the open. 

Light is a funny thing, it can grow flowers in the summer, warm our faces on the coldest of winter days.  But what we often forget is its symbiology of light and dark.  In the darkness of our minds exist shit or in my cases my shelves.  Keeping the lights off ensured that I wouldn’t have to deal with it, but it was always their taking up space. 

But with light, it is no longer hidden, it is there for all the world to see.  We can’t hide behind it any longer.  Guess what happens to our shit when we bring it into the light, it loses its power over us.  We no longer keep some of our mind in the light and some in the darkness.  We are now able to embrace what successful people already know.  A mind full of light is one that is lighter, happier, and able to take shit has it happens, work through it in the light and then let it go. 

Don’t confuse my message for letting your shit go that new shit won’t happen.  Life is not a perfect rainbow or is it filled with unicorns.  It just allows us to let life happen, learn from it, and in some cases grieve, but at the end of it all, we move on. 

When I had this shelf in my mind, it became so much harder to love my self and more importantly others around me.  When your mind is filled with an inner darkness, we are not able to show kindness, compassion, or love in the ways we know the ones around us need.  This shows up in our parenting, our marriage, our work, and friendships. 

Many veterans left the military with PTSD from some event that occurred during there service.  We often are told this is something that we can treat, or that once your labeled, then it all becomes ok.  But the real reality is that the darkness still lives inside of us.  No decision we make in the future, no matter how much grief or regret that we lived and my brother didn’t, the darkness will still survive. 

What if your story wasn’t what held you back in your life, but was what pushed you forward.  Your story is yours, good, bad, or mediocre.  In all cases its yours and its time for your to own your shit and let go its pull on your mind. 

The most surprising thing we learn when we let it go, is that others around us have just of messed up lives as we do.  We all have our own shit, some of us have owned it, others are inspired to own it by you. 

When we let go of our story, lean forward into life instead of pulling backwards, we strengthen one of the most valuable traits in todays society.  We become authentic in our own self.  We no longer fear being judged for who we were, but excited to live the life for who we want to be. 

If this sounds like something that got you excited for tomorrow, or you just want to keep the conversation going, please subscribe below to stay up today on my latest posts. 

Or if you just saw the clouds clear and a sun shine in your sole that has been dimmed for to long, reach out to me for a free 45 minute coaching call and discover how to Get Clear and lead your True Purpose 4 Life. 

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