Ben Killoy

Ben Killoy

What Was The Relationship Like With Your Dad?

This thread has become the common one in all the conversations I have had with dads over the past five years.  

It can be a sliding scale between my Dad was a dumpster fire for problems and my dad guided me towards the idea I could be and do anything in this life I wanted.

Today I want to talk about the dumpster fire Dad for a moment.

These kinds of Dads are a destructive force in a son’s life and most likely at an early age taught them that a desire to feel loved was an invitation for a beating or a fit of pure anger.  A son in this category learned that he had to shut off his emotional operating system to survive.  

Has that ever been you?

Being told that you don’t have feelings or are just kind of flat when expressing joy or happiness?

For the son of a dumpster fire Dad, this is just who he had to become in order to survive; he hasn’t experienced anything else.

Life was defined out of a place of fear vs. what could bring me joy. 

This is some pretty deep stuff, and if you haven’t ever thought about the relationship with your dad it might have just hit you like a two-ton wrecking ball.  

You are not alone in where ever you fall into the category of what relationship you had with your dad, its called generational trauma, and often if you look, it’s being passed down from one father to another.

The question I leave you with today is,

What was your relationship with love as a kid?

Let that question sink in, let it lead you to some memories that might even be dark, but let it guide you through the darkness that you probably have ignored your entire life. 

You can’t run from it; you can’t hide from it; you can only own it; you can only reframe it and make a clear choice to make sure the cycle ends with you.  

Ready to break the cycle?

Let’s talk benkilloy.com/breakthecycle

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